Comfort Kiss
by Writer-nut55
Summary: Everyone is leaving the Castle loft and he is left all alone. What will happen when Beckett comes to check on him? OCC WARNING: This story contains sensitive material that may be offensive to some.
1. Please Don't Leave Me

When Castle left the precinct this afternoon, he didn't have the spring in his step he usually did and he hadn't rattled off impossible theories at all today. I made the decision to leave work slightly early and head over to see him. Besides, the paperwork would be there tomorrow.

When I knocked on his door, he opened it and I was confronted with the saddest look I had ever seen on his face and it only made me more worried about him.

"Are you alright, Castle?" I asked cautiously.

He slowly shook his head 'no' and my concern for him grew. He stepped aside and I walked in, hearing him shut the door softly behind me. When I turned around to face him, he was close, but not close as he had been on pervious occasions.

"I'm in need of a hug, Detective."

"Are you serious?" I asked incredulously.

"Deadly." He replied. I stepped closer to him and let him wrap his arms around me and bury his face in my neck. I slowly wrapped my arms around his torso and held him firmly into my body. I felt him place a delicate kiss to my neck and I instantly froze where I stood. His lips were warm and soft against my skin and as much as I knew I shouldn't be enjoying the feel, my eyes fluttered closed in pleasure.

"Castle..." I asked shakily, my breathing slightly uneven.

"Kiss me, Kate." He mumbled against my neck.

"What?" I replied as shock was written all over my face.

"Kiss me." He said again.

"Castle, I..."

"Please, Kate." He whispered, removing his face from my neck and looking me in the eyes. In them I saw sadness, hurt, fear and the need to be reconciled.

I lent in cautiously and kissed his cheek ever so lightly.

"No, Kate. I mean really kiss me. Please..."

I swallowed past the lump in my throat and nervously licked over my lips before I slowly moved in and pressed my lips delicately against his. I could feel tears slips down his cheeks and transfer over to mine as he slowly kissed me back.

At first, I just wanted it to be over quickly but then I started to enjoy it and held him closer to me. I pulled my lips away and felt him begin to protest before I turned my head and reattached my lips to his. I even was so bold that I gently poked my tongue into his mouth, smiling as I did, feeling his languidly brush against mine. I felt my hands slide up his torso and shoulders to wrap around his neck and engulf my fingers in his thick locks. My hand had a mind of it's own as it began stroking his hair as I continued to kiss him. I felt his arms wrap possessively tighter around me and I found myself pushing his mouth harder into mine and kissing him with a bigger sense of urgency. He slowly detached his lips from mine and began gently kissing my neck.

"Please... Don't let me go." He begged.

"Castle, I..." He quickly silenced my protest by placing his mouth back over mine, causing me to take a surprised and contented inhale through my nose. I kissed him back eagerly but I somehow managed to regain my senses and pulled myself away from his lips and rest my forehead against his. "Castle, I'm still with Josh." I whispered breathlessly.

"Please, Kate. That's all I'm asking for. Stay with me for one night. Hug me, sleep next to me and you can go home to Josh in the morning. Just... Please. I can't be alone." He whimpered.

"What about Alexis and Martha?" I asked.

"They left." He replied sadly, more tears sliding down his cheeks.

"Where?" I prompted.

"Alexis went to spend the night with Ashleigh and Mother is off at some all hours theatre party. I just... I don't want to be alone." I gently ran my hand down his cheek and brushed the tears that were there away for him with my thumb.

"There's something else though, isn't there?" I asked carefully. He slowly nodded his head 'yes'. "You want to tell me what it is?" I watched helplessly as more tears slipped from his closed eyes.

"Alexis is leaving with Ashleigh to go to College with him and Mother is moving in with one of her Theatre buddies to share an apartment. I'll be in this big house all by myself. Without anyone else in it, it just seems to empty and lonely." He sobbed quietly into my shoulder. "Please... Please stay with me." He begged. I slowly moved in closer to his lips, my nose gently touching his, somehow my better judgement slipping some as I did so. "Just, please... Hold me." He whispered against my lips, moving in again and placing a gentle peck there. When he pulled away, I unthinkingly mumbled "Don't stop." before directing him back to my comforting lips and let out an involuntary sigh in contentment as they met. I pulled away for a moment to brush his messy hair out of his face before quickly reattaching my lips to his.

I knew what I was doing was wrong. That giving him false hope about us was cruel and that it was wrong of me to be cheating on Josh because he is so good to me.

But how can something so bad, feel so good.

Castle always boasted about how he was a good kisser but that wasn't the half of it. Sure, we'd kissed before. But that was different circumstances and it was urgent and despite and to fool someone into thinking that we were no threat in order to save Esposito and Ryan. But this was slow, sensual but still had the same level of need. It seemed to leave me wanting so much more that he could offer me in his current state. Right now, he needed a friend. Someone to hold him, to take care of him, tell him it was going to be ok, to shower him with kisses and show him affection and love.

Could I show him love? I was going to try my hardest to show him I could.

I molded my lips around his and tried to convey all of the affection and love I could into it. I tenderly caressed his cheek and, with my heart pounding in my chest, I slowly detached my lips from his and moved the slowly down his jaw and to his neck. I could hear him sigh into my hair, letting me know I was doing a good job.

"Kate..." He whispered, somewhat breathily. "Kate, if this doesn't mean anything to you, please stop. I don't want to be lied to. I would rather you sped time with me than you kiss me and it mean nothing to you when it means everything to me." He told me.

I had a decision to make. Lie to him and keep on kissing him or stop and be the friend that he needed me to be. The only problem with that was as much as I wanted to be truthful to him and be the friend he needed me to be, I couldn't stop kissing him. My lips slowly traveled up his neck to his jaw and finally, immersing my hands in his hair, I kissed his soft lips. I felt him smile aginst my lips as he held me firmly against his chest. His lips grasped mine tightly, moving slowly over mine while stroking his hands up and down my back.

He pulled away, a hint of a smile on his face. "You hungery?"

"Yeah. What do you have in mind?"

"Chinese takeout?"

"Perfect." I smiled.


	2. I'm Sorry

_A.N. Thanks to all my reviewers and subcribers. I have written a new chapter and I hope you like it. Keep the reviews coming. I would love to hear some more feed back. A special shout out to Feralious. Thank you so much for everything. Happy reading. _

_Previously_

_"You hungry?"_

_"Yeah. What do you have in mind?"_

_"Chinese takeout?"_

_"Perfect." I smiled._

It wasn't long before the Chinese arrived and they were sitting on the couch together with Castle's head on my lap, looking up at me as he ate. I would occasionally look down at him and roll my eyes at him for staring, and then smile around my chopsticks. I could feel him staring at me again so I looked down only to see a small smile creep into the corners of his mouth as he swallowed.

"Kiss me." He whispered. I finished chewing my noodles, swallowed and leant down to place a kiss on his lips only for his hand to snake around and hold my head down and continued to caress my lips with his.

I felt him pull away slowly and I placed a light kiss on his lips before I sat back up and continued eating, trying to hide my smile behind my food.

"It's kinda funny lying on someone when I am so used to having Alexis lying on me."

I had to hold my tongue on the comment that was dying to come out of my mouth and simply settle for smiling at him and continuing to absentmindedly run my fingers through his hair. When I finished off the last of my food, I looked down at my lap only to see him fast asleep with his mouth hanging wide open. I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped at his childlike tendencies and gently shook him awake.

"Huh, what?" He looked around the room, startled for a moment before his eyes came to rest on me and he relaxed back down on my lap.

"Come on, sleeping beauty. It's time for bed." I told him as I pushed him off my lap and then, standing up myself, helped to pull him up off the couch. With him half asleep, he came inevitably crashing into me and almost knocked us both into the coffee table.

"Sorry." He mumbled meekly. I smiled and shook my head and pulled his strong arm over my shoulders and helped walk him up the stairs and into his bedroom. He plonked down onto the soft sheets and tried to pull me down with him.

"Please?" He asked softly. I let out a tired sigh and after slipping off my shoes and jacket, I climbed in next to him only to feel a pair of arms wrap around my middle and pull me into his solid chest.

He was spooning me!

And I didn't mind.

What was wrong with me?

I never let Josh do this. I hated it when he spooned me. Clothed or unclothed. He always seemed to get over zealous and his breathing was too quick on the back of my neck to the point where it made me downright uncomfortable.

But with Castle, it just seemed natural.

Comfortable.

Easy.

I pulled his arms tighter around me and moved further back into his warmth. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck.

Calm and even.

"Kate?" He whispered into my hair.

"Yeah?" I asked, unsure of whether or not this situation was going to become uncomfortable now.

"Thank you. This means to much to me that you're here."

"You'd do the same for me. Even if I didn't ask you to." I smiled at the small rib, feeling satisfied when I felt him chuckle against me.

"In a heartbeat." He whispered. I felt him place a delicate kiss on the side of my neck. "Goodnight, Kate."

"Goodnight, Castle." I whispered, as I silently tried to gather myself and get by breathing back to somewhat normal.

The next morning, I awoke to find myself lying on a solid chest with a pair of firm arms wrapped around me, holding me into him. At first, I relaxed and closed my eyes to go back to sleep, thinking it was just Josh, but then I reopened them as I realised exactly who I was with.

"Oh, god!" I whispered. "What the hell was I thinking?" I had to get out of here and back to Josh. Back to some sense of safety.

So without a second thought, I got up out of the bed, pulled my shoes back on and grabbed my coat. I treaded as quietly as I could to the door before I was overwhelmed by a wave of guilt. I stopped dead in my tracks and sighed as I stood in the doorway, torn between going back and curling up next to him and swallowing it and leaving without so much as a word.

Against my better judgment, I turned around just as quietly and walked back over to his side of the bed and leant down to kiss his lips. I pulled away and gently rested my forehead against his.

"I'm sorry." I whispered as I turned and walked out the door. I walked down the stairs and continued till I was at his front door. My hand stilled as it circled around the handle. I knew that he would wake up a few hours later and look around for me before he would realize I was gone. But it was part of his deal. Stay with him for the night and I could go back home to Josh in the morning. I took a shaky breath in an attempt to steady myself.

"I'm so sorry, Castle." I whispered as I opened the door and walked as quickly as I could out of his apartment.

_A.N. I plan on uploading a new chapter quicker next time and in the mean time, let me know what you think._


	3. Difference

_A.N. Here it is my dear readers! The next chapter of my story. I hope you like it so please leave me a review to let me know how I'm doing. Thank you so much to all my subscribers and followers and a special thanks to all the people who've reviewed. Yes, the reviews do get read. I know, shock horror. X) Happy reading!_

_Previously in Comfort Kiss:_

_"I'm sorry." I whispered as I turned and walked out the door. I walked down the stairs and continued till I was at his front door. My hand stilled as it circled around the handle. I knew that he would wake up a few hours later and look around for me before he would realize I was gone. But it was part of his deal. Stay with him for the night and I could go back home to Josh in the morning. I took a shaky breath in an attempt to steady myself._

_"I'm so sorry, Castle." I whispered as I opened the door and walked as quickly as I could out of his apartment._

When I reached my apartment, I was surprised to find Josh there who got up and greeted me with a crushing hug and a kiss.

Somehow the kiss felt different though. Like something had shifted. Whether it was in him or in be I wasn't sure, but something was definitely different.

I found myself waiting for the kiss to be over whereas last night, with Castle, I didn't want it to end.

This wasn't right!

Castle wasn't my boyfriend!

Josh was. And I shouldn't be thinking of Castle in comparison to Josh!

What is _wrong_ with me?

"I missed you last night. Where were you?" He asked, smiling down at me.

"I was…" What could I tell him? That I was with Castle and he was so upset he asked me to kiss him and then asked me to sleep over?

I don't think so.

"I was at work till late last night. I stayed there and crashed on the break room couch."

"Rough day?" He asked.

"More that you can imagine." I replied sarcastically.

"Well, I hope that it gets better because I would like you home tonight if I could. I've got a long day today and I would like to spend some time with you."

"Alright, well let me go have a shower and get ready for work and I'll let you know as the day goes on." I told him as I tapped him on the chest and made my way out of his embrace, making my way towards the bathroom.

"Can I come?" He asked with a cheeky smile. Somehow the cheeky smile didn't seem to suit his face the same way it did Castle's. I shook my head to get rid of the thought and to answer his question. "Maybe another time. I have to get ready or I'm going to be late." I told him.

"Oh..." He replied, his head hanging slightly. "Alright then, I should get to work too. There is a huge list of patients today so… I'll see you tonight?" He asked as he opened the door and looked back at me for conformation.

"Yeah, see you tonight."

When I got out of the shower, clothed and rubbing my hair with my towel, I collected my gun, badge, keys, and handbag and headed out the door to face work and most likely Castle in one go.

When I got to work, I was slightly confused when I saw the seat next to my desk empty.

"You guys seen Castle this morning?" I asked the boys. Ryan turned around with his phone still attached to his ear and shook his head. I looked over to Esposito who was leaning against the door frame of the break room with a mug of coffee in his hands and watched him shook his head 'no'. He then beckoned me into the room, walking into the quieter space. With a raised eyebrow in at the gesture, I followed him into the room and was confronted by the somber look on his face as he turned around to look at me.

"Castle's not coming back." He told me. I stared back at him, my mouth agape in pure shock.

"W-What?"

"He called the Captain this morning and told him that he wasn't coming back for a while. He told him that he needed some time and told him to tell us thanks for letting him tag along. And that he'll miss us." I staggered over to the couch and sat down, my face still not able to create an expression through the shock. "I don't know how to tell Ryan." Esposito continued, pretending not to notice my current expression and my reaction.

"D-did he say anything else?" I asked carefully, looking up at him expectantly, waiting for him to tell me.

"Not that I know of." He replied, the look on his face was of utter confusion at my sudden question and probably my reaction as well.

I stood back up and walked over to Montgomery's office and walked barged in, slamming my hands down on the desk.

"What the hell is this? Where is Castle?" I all but screamed. I glared at the Captain and saw a flicker of confusion wash over his face before it was replaced by understanding.

"I take it someone told you then."

"What the hell is this! He doesn't have the _balls_ to come and tell it to _my face_? What was his excuse this time?" I asked, pacing back and forth impatiently as I tried to get my thoughts in order.

"He said he needed some time to sort some things out. He didn't say whether or not he would be back or not but…"

"But what?" I snapped mid step.

"He sounded not like himself. He didn't have the usual life to his voice. It was almost like there was no life in him anymore."

I walked right out of his office and straight back to my desk to pick up my phone. I immediately began dialing Castle's number. I waited for him to pick up before yelling at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I could ask you the same thing." He shot back.

"What are you taking about?" I asked, my tone shifting slightly.

"How could you leave me like that. Are you _really_ that scared?"

"You told me I could go home the next morning." I shot back.

"I didn't mean _straight away_!"

There was silence across the line as we both tried to catch our breath from our screaming match over the phone.

"Look, Castle… I'm sorry."

"I know you are. I heard you leave." He replied gentler.

I couldn't even think of a reply to that one.

"Are you going to come in or do I have to drag your sorry butt out here?" I asked, trying to re instill some sense of our kind of normalcy.

"Not today." He replied.

"When then?" I asked.

"I'll let you know." He told me and then the line went dead.


	4. Devistation in a Matter of Seconds

A.N. I am sorry my dear readers for not posting some more sooner but I have been putting this off for a while because I am too involved reading other FanFics that have been building up in my computer. I hope that this new chapter will make up for the wait and I plan on (hopefully) posting some more soon. For those who are hating Josh, I know, I do too, do not fret for he is going to be gone but I am afraid that you will just have to hang on until he does. I have a feeling it will happen soon though. I never really know though because these characters seem to have minds of their own. Happy reading!

_Previously in Comfort Kiss_

_"Are you going to come in or do I have to drag your sorry butt out here?" I asked, trying to re instill some sense of our kind of normalcy._

_"Not today." He replied._

_"When then?" I asked._

_"I'll let you know." He told me and then the line went dead._

The rest of the day was incredibly uneventful and boring without Castle's bubbly pick-me-up's and crazy theories that would normally make a day like this more bearable but with the way our conversation had ended, I couldn't get my mind off Castle being home, alone, left to wallow in all that self pity.

And some of it was my fault.

I had left him in his hour of need to shrink on back to my pathetic excuse for a boyfriend.

All because I was so scared of getting hurt like I did after my Mum died, that I couldn't trust myself to be truly happy again, for fear of loosing that happiness again, and falling back down into that pit.

I found myself frequently looking at his chair in hopes that he would somehow appear beside me with his trademark smile on his face and a coffee for him in one hand and for me in the other.

And every time I looked over and saw only air filling his place, I would stare at it for a little longer and then look back down at the paperwork in front of me to try and hide the hurt on my face from anyone that would see.

I forced myself to meet Josh that night, and despite my best efforts to enjoy his company, he knew that something was wrong.

"What's wrong, Kate?" He asked gently as we cuddled up on the couch, kissing my head as he wrapped his arms tighter around my stomach.

I felt bad for not wanting to tell him when he really was making an effort to get me to open up to him. But I was _not_ going to give him a single ounce of brownie points for his erection sticking into by back as he tried to ask me what was wrong!

The difference between him and Castle was, sure, Castle flirted and made comments but when it came down to the serious moments, he knew when to act his age and be respectful.

But Josh… He was the complete opposite. He didn't really make any innuendoes and wasn't exactly flirty but he spoke with his body, and sometimes it didn't say what I wanted it to say.

Didn't know when to quit or to be appropriate.

I let out a long sigh. "Nothing." I told him.

"You sure noting's bothering you?" He asked again.

"I'm fine." I told him. If he had know me better, he would have known I was lying.

"Alright then." He replied, turning his attention back on the TV and most likely the view that he was getting down my shirt.

I didn't end up hearing from Castle for almost a week and I was beginning to worry that maybe something had happened to him and I was terrified that it was because of _me_ that it happened. But I couldn't bring myself to go and check on him, even if it was just to make sure that he was ok and that he was dealing with living in that big loft all by himself.

I even went as far as driving to his apartment building but I never got out of my car. For some reason I was never able to bring myself to take my hands of the steering wheel. And every time, I would let out a loud sigh and drag myself away from the curb and drive back home to my lonely apartment with a man passed out in my bed, leaving me wishing so hard that he was someone else.

The person who would wait up for me no matter what time I came home and wouldn't breath heavily on my neck as he spooned me, but would mold himself around me and hold me lovingly in his arms.

I ended up sleeping on the couch that night because I couldn't stand to be next to Josh anymore with his annoying breathing on the back of my neck and his over zealous spooning with the added 'poke'.  
>And what annoyed me the most wasn't that I didn't get <em>nearly enough<em> sleep from sleeping on the old, slightly lumpy couch, but _the fact_ that he _didn't even_ seem to notice that I was gone and continued to sleep through the night like the dead.

With my anger as my fuel, I dragged myself off my makeshift bed and started to get myself ready for work.

When I got out of the shower and was dressed in my work clothes, I grabbed my bag, throwing my phone and keys into it and just as I reached the door, hand on the door handle, a thought crossed my mind and I walked back into by bedroom, picked up Josh's jeans that he had just thrown on the floor, and I fished through his pockets until I found the spare key I had given him and pocketed it.

When I got to the precinct that morning, Esposito immediately met me as soon as I stepped out of the elevator.

"What have you got for me Espo?" I asked. I looked over at the file in his hands and glanced at the file as he opened it to show me something.

"We've been going about this all wrong. I was going over some things when I got here and there is a few things that don't add up. So, Ryan and I have been looking over it together, to double check that we didn't miss anything, and wrote it all up on a separate board." He informed me as he walked over to the murder board and pulled out another board from behind it, revealing a list of things in two sets of handwriting. I dropped my stuff on my desk and lent up against it as I started to study what kind of secrets it held.

"How could I have missed all of this?" I sighed as I ran my hands through my hair and pushed it back.

"Ok, we're going to have to re-check all of the evidence and try and re-interview the witnesses and suspects. See if anyone slips up and says something different to what the originally told us. Ryan, you check all the people's statements and Esposito, you take the evidence. That will give you a legitimate excuse to go see Lanie." I smirked.

"Oooh! You know what…" He raised a warning finger but then changed his mind. "I'll take what I can get. Just you wait, Beckett. Your time will come."

"I'd love to see that day." I chuckled, knowing full well that Josh wouldn't come in here. He was far too busy with his own life to come into mine just to come and show me some affection.

"That day might be closer than you think." He smirked back, his teeth shining as he did. I furrowed my brow in confusion and turned my head to look in the direction his line of sight was.

There was no chance that Josh would walk through here so who could it be?

When my eyes finally settled on the figure rapidly getting closer and closer, my brain finally recognized it at Castle. And on closer inspection, his eyes were focused on me and his face was feigningly serious. I could see his hands coming up and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I realised what he was doing.

"Castle, what are you…" His hands were already framing my face and his mouth was over mine before I could even think about getting the rest of the question out of my mouth.

After all this time of hearing not a single word from him, he walks in here, doesn't even say a word to me, and kisses me! Right here in front of all my colleagues as if we were the only two people in the whole building!

I could feel his lips struggling against mine, trying to make them move with his. And if I were completely honest with myself, I would have admitted that I wanted to kiss him back, desperately.

But now was not the time, here was not the place and when it came down to it, I was still with Josh.

As much as I knew it was going to hurt him to get rejected by me again, I pushed him away, trying to prove a point to my coworkers that he couldn't just come in here and kiss me like that.

But when I saw the look on his face… I knew that he was seeking that connection and comfort again and I had pushed him away when he needed me most.

I could see the happiness drain from his eyes, his hands began shaking against my cheeks as they slowly returned to his sides and his smile was whipped clean away from his face and was replaced with a tight, thin line and watery eyes.

"I-I'm sorry I came down here. I-I'm so sorry, Kate." He whispered, looking at his hands as they shook, turned and fled, leaving a whole precinct full of confused detectives.

A.N. Leave me a rewiew to let me know how I'm doing.


	5. A Grave Mistake

A.N. I'm sorry it took me so long to upload this but here is the next chapter of CK! Please review

When the precinct returned to normal, I finally was able to slump down into my chair and stare off into a void of space, completely wide eyed.

I could faintly hear Ryan next to me, talking in my ear to try and get my attention but it was so muffled I wasn't able to even focus on what he was saying. I could see Esposito's hand waving in front of my face in what felt like slow motion but I didn't focus on it either.

The only thought that seemed to pass through my head was that it was my fault he wasn't coming back.

"Kate…Kate? She's not responding. She looks like she's in shock." I heard a muffled voice say. The voice resembled Lanie's but I was too dazed to actually care. I could now see a light passing from eye to eye but I couldn't follow it.

I couldn't process anything beyond the fact it was all_ my_ fault.

"Kate… Kate? Kate!" Lanie shouted, shaking my shoulders and snapping my out of my incomprehensible thought. "Kate? Are you alright?" Lanie asked gently, her hands resting gently on my shoulders.

"It's my fault." I mumbled.

"What honey?"

"It's _all _my fault." I told her, slightly louder this time so she could understand.

"Oh, Kate." She whispered back sadly. "Come with me sweetly and you can tell me all about it." I didn't exactly have a say in the matter as the boys helped me stand up and Lanie lead me down to the morgue.

"Oh my _God_! Honey, I had no idea it was that bad!"

"It's my fault he's gone, Lanie. He needed me and I left him. What kind of person does that?" I whispered, tears leaking out my eyes and gravity doing the rest as I stared at my feet as they hung suspended from the floor while I sat on the cool metal of the autopsy table.

"Kate, he told you you could go back to Josh. You did everything he asked you to do. In my opinion, he didn't intend for you to _actually_ leave."

"That's why I feel…" I couldn't even get the words out as my eyes squeezed shut, more tears escaping as I continued to lay everything out in the open for the first time since it happened. "He has no one with him. Alexis is with Ashleigh and she will be leaving for college with him soon and Martha is moving in with one of her theatre friends. He is in that big apartment all by himself and he reached out to me and I rejected him!"

"Kate, you didn't reject him. You're in a relationship with Josh and you were a good friend to him. You thought you were doing the right thing at the time."

"You don't get it!" I yelled at her, making Lanie wince slightly.

"He asked me to kiss him! And I kissed him and then he told me to stop if it didn't mean anything but I couldn't. I knew it was wrong but I didn't want to stop and I twisted his feelings, making him think that I could be there for him when I was too scared to. We're all still recovering after Montgomery and now that his family has moved on without him, I don't know how he can cope. It's all my fault he's alone." I sobbed. I felt Lanie's arms snake around my shoulders and pull me into a sideways hug.

"Sweetie, you know what you need to do? You need to support him though this. But maybe be less physical about it this time." She smiled gently.

I nodded slowly and felt Lanie pull me into a crushing hug. "Now go off and get him. Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid." She chuckled.

My head popped up and my arms slacked from around Lanie.  
>"Oh, God! What have I done?" I whispered as I quickly wriggled myself out of her grasp and ran out of the morgue. I was far too impatient to take the elevator, so I ran up the stair as quickly as I could and into the bull pen.<p>

"Boys!" I called them to attention. "With me." I instructed. They grabbed their things and followed me without hesitation while I quickly gathered my things together and speed walked though, ignoring Gates calling after us.

We bee lined for the elevator, seeing the doors close just as Gate's face came into view in the bull pen, glaring at us icily. I was too focused on Castle to particularly care too much about what happened to me and my job.

Right now, all that mattered was him.

The elevator ride down to the garage was painfully slow and the tension in the air was palpable. When the doors final opened, I burst out of the steel cage and onto the concrete as if the elevator was suffocating me. I ran to my car and threw the door open and then myself behind the wheel. I shoved the key into ignition and forced the car to start. I quickly shoved the gear stick into reverse and, placing my arm around the passenger seat, I backed the car up and lined it up, nearly running over the boys in the process.

"Get in." I ordered. They complied without argument or question; something that would normally bring a smile to my face but right now was not the time to be praising them for being obedient.

We… I had to get to Castle.

Once they were in the back seats, I shoved the car back into forward and, tires screeching, I took off like a bullet out the garage and onto the Manhattan streets. I flicked the siren on, not at all feeling guilty about abusing the privileges of a cop, and sped through several red lights, reaching his apartment in record time.

As the car skidded to a stop by the curb, I shoved it into park, switching off the siren and the ignition.

I threw my door open only to come face to face with the boys, standing in front of me, waiting for an order, nerves evident in their faces behind their stoic expressions.

My heart was beating a mile a minute in my chest painfully against my scar and the next thing I knew my legs gave out from under me and two pairs of hands caught my arms as I passed out.


	6. Hanging by a Thread

_A.N. My dear readers, I am so sorry for the long wait but as you may know, school work undeniably takes precedence over Fan fictions. (In most cases anyway) I do have to warn you though that this year is a huge one for me and I may not be able to post new chapters as often as I was able to last year, but I promise to try for those avid readers whom I love dearly for loving my writing. I promise to also try to add more to my other story, IVF Backfire (Backfire for short) soon.  
>Well enough of me, enjoy and please review, I thrive on these because they let me know I'm love and that I'm doing a good job. <em>

_**Warning:** This chapter contains material that may be offensive or upsetting to some readers. It contains self harm. _

* * *

><p><em>Previously in Comfort Kiss...<em>

_As the car skidded to a stop by the curb, I shoved it into park, switching off the siren and the ignition._

_I threw my door open only to come face to face with the boys, standing in front of me, waiting for an order, nerves evident in their faces behind their stoic expressions._

_My heart was beating a mile a minute in my chest painfully against my scar and the next thing I knew my legs gave out from under me and two pairs of hands caught my arms as I passed out._

When my eyes slowly opened back up, the first thing I saw was two faces looking down at me uneasily, waiting for me to tell them I was ok.

I blinked a few times and sat up slowly, feeling them shuffle back to give me some space as I dragged my hand down my face.

"You ok, boss?" Ryan asked nervously.

"Yeah…" I replied slowly. "I'm fine. Let's go." I ordered with a new resolve. I watched them stand back up to their full height and I felt both boys' hands wrap firmly around my forearm and pull me up off the ground.

The ride up the elevator was painfully slow and not to mention awkward with both boys looking around the boring elevator as we road up the levels one by one with our guns cocked in our hands. When the elevator finally dinged to signal their arrival, they all let out an audible sigh of relief and the boys followed closely on my tail.

When we reached his door, I knocked on it carefully and then called out his name. When no answer reached my ears, I knocked harder and called out his name louder but there was still no answer. I looked at both the boys and saw them nod at me. I tried the door and was surprised to find it unlocked. We pressed forward into his apartment and I noticed a strange shadow being cast in his office. I signaled the boys and walked quietly up to the door and waited a few moments before shoving it open.

Now, I had prepared myself for many different outcomes as to what I might see but nothing could have ever prepared me for what I saw in front of me.

Swinging from side to side in the breeze was Castle with a noose around his neck and closed eyes.

"Oh god!" I whispered. I dropped my gun and ran over to him, Esposito behind me. He stepped between Castle's legs and stood back up, taking the weight off his neck enough for me to loosen the noose and take it off from around his neck. Ryan was beside his partner by now and was helping him ease Castle off his shoulders and into his desk chair behind them. I then proceeded to straddle him and slap his face to try and get him to regain consciousness. I had no idea how long he had been like that but I was afraid that it might have been too long. I slapped his face harder, emotions beginning to rage within me. I could feel tears starting to swim in my eyes and I blinked them back furiously. I then, panicking because he had no breath, pinched his nose and blew into his mouth. I then pulled back and slapped his cheek lightly again, trying to encourage him to come to.

"Come on, Castle. Wake up!" I all but yelled at him. "Why were you so stupid to think that _this_ was the solution? You have your family to think about. The boys, Lanie." I paused and lowered my voice so that only he could hear it. "Me." I could feel my tears now escape their hold and run freely down my face. "Please, Rick." I whispered, my voice wavering from the tears in my words. "Please come back to me." I sobbed. "I care about you so much. I'm sorry I was such a coward and never told you. I'm so sorry!" My hand was now still on his cheek, caressing my thumb next to his ear, back and forth. "I was scared. I was scared to recognize my feeling for you because I was scared of what that would mean for us." I told him, my hand slipping down to his chest and over his heart. "But the truth is…" I lent in close to his ear, taking a deep breath to ensure that my voice would hold conviction as I spoke. "I love you." I whispered. I let my face fall into the still warm recess of his neck and sobbed quietly. I placed a gentle kiss against the column of his throat and put rested my face back where it was.

My hand, that was still on his chest, felt a faint beat being tapped against it. My head immediately snapped up and looked at him with a glimmer of hope in my eyes.

Gathering my courage, I placed my palm back onto his cheek and slowly lent in to gently press my lips against his. I moved them slowly, in the hoped of rousing some kind of response out of him.

I could feel the boys eyes on me as they looked on with a mixture of confusion and awe on their faces as they watched the events unfold in front of them between their beloved boss and her writer.

Tears cascaded down my face as I sobbed harder into the kiss. I tried so hard to encourage him to kiss me back, but I could still fell nothing on the other end of the kiss.

I was still reassured by the face that I could still feel, however wavering, his heartbeat against my fingertips, but the lack of movement and reciprocation that accompanied this was enough to cancel out the feeling of comfort for one of trepidation. I could feel the cogs turning in my mind as my vivid imagination ran rapid worst case scenario situations with no reprieve.

What if he was brain dead?

What if we couldn't save him?

What if he's paralyzed?

As these thoughts plagued my mind, I began kissing him with a new sense of urgency, forcing his mouth open under mine, brushing my tongue over his, my nails digging into the back of his head as I fisted his hair.

'What was that?' I could almost feel the neurons firing as I quickly jumped from possibility to possibility.

Heart leapt at the prospect of him actually coming back to me.

'Come on, Castle' I forced my lips harder against his. 'Come back to me!'

I felt his mouth subtly clamp around mine with slowly increasing amounts of pressure.

And then my prayers were answered.

I felt Castle's hand reach up and cup my cheek, kissing me back harder than before, slowly reaching he same intensity as me.

I almost laughed out loud at the thought of needing to give him air when now I was trying to steal it.

Releasing tears of relief, I slowly detached my mouth from his and beamed down at him.

"Kate." His voice horse and faint. "You came back for me." He continued with a slight waver in his voice.

"Of course I did." I replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, feeling more tears make their tracks down my cheeks. "I meant what I said. I love you, Castle." My smile watery. "And don't you _ever _leave me like that _again_!" Finished resolutely, an annoying waver mocking my stern words.

Despite his current condition, he managed to reach up and wipe the tears from my cheeks, slowly urging me back in for another kiss, one of celebration rather than of fear or despair. He kissed me gently, his thumb lightly brushing the stray escapee tears from my cheeks as I kissed him back, small hiccups punctuating the movement of our lips.

I pulled back suddenly, seeing a flash of fear emerge over Castle's features.

"Don't you _dare. Ever. _Do. That. Again." I punctuated each word, a hint of venom in my words, poking a finger into his chest as I said each word. Seeing the fear in his eyes, I slowly softened my features and continued. "I can't loose you." I whispered. "Not again."

"I promise I will never leave you again. At least not willingly." He smiled, his trademark humor ever present in his demeanor, even in the worst of times. I let a sad chuckle escape my lips as I smiled back at him.

"You better not. Promise?"

"_Always_." He smiled gently, gathering me tightly in his arms; slowly guiding me down to rest on his chest, the comforting pound of his fast passed heartbeat greeting me.


	7. Trust Takes Time

A.N. Sorry it took me so long to get this new chapter up but I have been working hard towards my exams and I am finding less and less time to write these days. But here is the very overdue next chapter.

_"Don't you_ dare. Ever. _Do. That. Again." I punctuated each word, a hint of venom in my words, poking a finger into his chest as I said each word. Seeing the fear in his eyes, I slowly softened my features and continued. "I can't loose you." I whispered. "Not again."_

_"I promise I will never leave you again. At least not willingly." He smiled, his trademark humor ever present in his demeanor, even in the worst of times. I let a sad chuckle escape my lips as I smiled back at him._

_"You better not. Promise?"_

_"_Always_."_ _He smiled gently, gathering me tightly in his arms; slowly guiding me down to rest on his chest, the comforting pound of his fast passed heartbeat greeting me._

Once the event of Castle's attempted suicide had died down, they boys, after Esposito giving him a quick check over for any obvious injuries, the boys left the pair to work through this new development in their relationship.

"Oh and Beckett?" Ryan addressed, halfway out the door, looking at the pair who were exchanging a loving embrace as they looked back at him expectantly. "We'll keep this hush hush. No one outside this immediate family has to know." I smiled as he inadvertently repeated my words after Montgomery's death. It also warmed my heart to know that they included Castle in our little unconventional family as well.

"Thank you." Castle replied for me, nodding to Ryan. And with that, he left, closing the door quietly behind him.

I turned to Castle, wrapping my arms securely around his torso, burying my face in his chest, feeling him squeeze me back just as tightly.

"You have no idea how close I was to loosing you." I whispered through the lump in my throat. I felt his hand run through my hair in a slow, soothing motion, somewhat similar to what my mum used to do for me.

"I won't apologise for what I did but I accept the affect that it had on you." He whispered, his voice still horse after being crushed for so long.

"I'm so sorry I left you. I was scared! I didn't want to admit that you were it for me. That you were my standard. That no one else could compare to you. I just…" At this point I was sobbing quietly into his chest, only to be cut short when he gently cupped my cheek and my words died on my lips when his baby blues pierced into my soul.

"I understand Kate. I do. Just…" He let out a sigh, avoiding her eyes for just a moment. "Don't do it again." He let out a small burst of laughter, his first attempt at humor since his attempted suicide, pressing his forehead to mine. I nodded against him, feeling my eyes well up again, before I felt him angle his head, attaching his lips to mine, moving them gently against mine. I let out a rather undignified whimper as I moved my lips with his, wrapping my arms more firmly around his torso, anchoring myself to him, gripping so tightly for fear that my legs would give out from under me.

"Kate…" He mumbled against her lips, pulling himself slowly away, his eyes still closed as he slowly started to back away from me.

"Promise you won't shut me out." The words shot out of my mouth before I could catch them.

"I won't if you won't." He replied, letting my face go and stepping back a few paces. "Now I don't know about you, but I am absolutely exhausted. Do you think you could… um…" He tried to find the right words, a small flushed look adorning his cheeks.

"Stay?" I offered. He nodded silently. "You can have the first shower and I'll have one after you." I offered.

"Sounds like a plan."

I sat silently on the edge of his bed as I waited for him to come out of the shower, the steam seeping out of the doorframe and through into the bedroom. He'd been in there for a while now but I had to restrain myself from the overwhelming need to check on him and settle for calling out his name.

"I'm almost done Kate." He called back.

When he finally came out of the shower, clad only on a white towel around his waist, moisture clinging to his defined chest and stomach, highlighting all of the curves and contours. I look a deep, long breath, shook my head to try and clear it, praying that he didn't notice that I'd been staring at him. He calmly walked over to his cupboard, opening the huge doors and, after opening a draw, he pulled out a navy blue t-shirt and a pair of blue and white striped boxer shorts. I made a conscious decision to turn my back to him so that I wouldn't even be tempted to turn and look at him as he shed his towel.

"Kate?" Castle called out for me. I took it as a sign that I could turn around and walked right up to him, wrapping my arms around his torso, placing light kisses between his chest muscles, right over his heart. I smiled against his skin as I felt the reassuring flutter under my lips after only a short while ago, there was no beat to feel.

"Come on," I said, suddenly pulling away. "Let's get you into bed." Castle mindlessly complied, waiting patiently while I pulled his bed covers down for him before getting in himself. I felt a gentle smile make its way onto my face as I leant down, placing a light kiss on his lips. Pulling back, I gently touched his forehead, running my fingers through his hair before I turned to leave. I walked quietly out of his room and closed the door over behind me. I wordlessly made my way over to his couch, the events of today wearing my out more that I'd felt in a long time. As I crashed down onto the couch, I dragged my hand over my face, letting out a long sigh. Reaching over the back of the couch, I pulled down the blanket and draped it over me, getting as comfortable as I could so I could try and get _some _sleep.

Not long after I fell asleep, I heard a faint scream echo through the loft, scaring me into sitting bolt upright on the couch, eyes wide and alert. I immediately threw back the blanket and rushed upstairs, shoving his bedroom door open to find him tossing and turning in his bed, a thin sheen of cold sweat coating his skin as his face contorted in fear. I was swiftly at his side, my hands on his shoulders as I shook him roughly.

"Wake up, Rick! It's just a bad dream." His eyes snapped open, he went rigid as he tried to get some air back into his lungs. His eyes flicked around the dark room until they came to rest on my face and he visibly relaxed, punctuating it with a long exhale as he closed his eyes. "It's alright." I assured him as I tenderly stroked his cheek, feeling him lean into it as I did. "Go back to sleep." I went to turn and head back downstairs to my little nest on the couch but I felt a hand wrap around my wrist, pulling me back.

"Stay. Please." He whispered, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. My heart broke at the sight of my strong Castle weakened and vulnerable. I nodded wordlessly and made my way around the other side of the bed, pulling back the covers so I could climb in. Once I was under them, I felt a pair of arms engulf me and pull me close, letting out a sigh of content when I was nestled in the curve of his body.

"Thank you." He whispered in my hair.

"You're welcome, Rick. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

When I awoke the next morning, I smiled to myself as I realised he was holding me just as tightly as he did when he drifted off to sleep the night before, his legs tangled in mine, chin resting on my head as he held me close. I placed a delicate kiss on his chest, making my way up his neck, being careful to bypass the ligature marks there, his jaw until finally I kissed his sleepy lips. I felt the makings of a smile as he sleepily kissed me back, rolling towards me, kissing me with slightly more enthusiasm than the night before. I felt the reassuring weight of him press me firmly into his mattress and let out a sigh of content knowing that he was actually there. I wasn't sure how far I was willing to go with this but I figured that if it was too far too soon, I would know when I got there.

I felt his hands dance along my sides, carefully mapping a path from my hips to just under my breasts.

Suddenly my mind switched back on and I realised that today was the day after Rick's incident and that this was not a good idea since he was still recovering. But on the other hand, I couldn't refuse him and risk him relapsing.

I was thankful when I heard my phone vibrate on the bedside table next to me.

I managed to untangle myself from him enough to reach for my phone, giggling as he tried to pull me back in, kissing up and down my neck and face, with a great level of difficulty considering how tight his grip on me was and the fact that he was lying on top of me.

Once he stopped kissing me long enough, I glanced at my phone to see a reminder for work.

"Shit!" I cursed. Rick immediately jumped off me.

"What? What's wrong?" His eyes were wide with worry.

"I'm late for work. _We're _late!" I continued, indicating to both of us.


	8. Unintended Words

_"Shit!" I cursed. Rick immediately jumped off me._

_"What? What's wrong?" His eyes were wide with worry._

_"I'm late for work. We're late!" I continued, indicating to both of us._

When we entered through the elevator doors to the 12th precinct floor, it was like we'd been gone forever, but nothing had changed. Everyone still sat at their normal desks, answered their phones, filled out paperwork and walking up and down the hall to get to where they needed to go.

The only difference was that Castle was back at my side.

Where he always should be.

I gently squeezed our entwined hands and encouraged him out of the safety of the elevator. I knew he was nervous that people would look at him differently, as no doubt that news of what he had tried to do have spread. The marks on his neck still visible even though I had tried to cover them up for him, but his shirt did little to assist this matter. The marks were red, angry and slightly discoloured, as if like a bruise were to erupt and discolour.

I could tangibly see his unease about the many eyes that were focused on him as we made our way over to my desk to sit down but he swung my arm around and brought me back towards him, leading me in the direction of the break room. I waited for him to turn around before I went to ask him what he was doing but my unspoken question was answered by his facial solemn expression.

"I don't know if I can take everyone giving me these funny looks." He stated simply. My free hand slipped up to his cheek, gently cupping it, feeling him lean into it as I did. I leant in quickly and placed my lips lightly against his; trying to provide the comfort he sought from me. After everything, I have been trying to make an effort to be what he needs me to be for him and to smother him with the affection he sought from me when this all started.

I moved my lips gently against his, feeling him kiss me back slowly. I slowly pulled my mouth away from his, resting my forehead against his.

"We'll take this slowly ok. If it gets too much, let me know and we'll come here for a bit and take a break. Just make sure you tell me, ok?" I smiled softly, tilting my head to try and look at his expression. I felt him nod against my forehead and I quickly took his face in my hands, bringing his lips back to mine. He kissed me back with more force this time, and when I pulled away, I could see the hint of a smile in the corner of his mouth. I grinned at the sight and couldn't help but lean in and kiss it, feeling him smile around my lips.

All of a sudden, there was a loud thump, causing us to spring apart and turn in the direction of the noise.

"Am I interrupting something?" Esposito asked, faking innocence.

Thank god he'd listened to me when I told him to act normal around Castle.

Sure, I warned them to not bring up stuff that might upset him, but apart from that, act normal.

"Yes you did." Castle piped up, wrapping his arms tighter around me, "Now if you just turn around..." He smiled weakly at the attempt at humor, twirling his finger in the air in a gesture for Esposito to turn around. Espo chuckled and smiled.

"Nice to see you're back to your old self." He commented.

The smiles immediately left our faces.

Esposito, realising what he said, opened and closed his mouth like a fish as I sent him a death glare.

"I…" He tried. I glared at him harder and motioned with my eyes for him to get out the door. With his head slightly hung, he left the room, catching Ryan before he entered the room and said something stupid like he just did. I let out a soft sigh and turned to Castle. I gently caressed the side of his face.

"He didn't mean it." I tried to sooth him.

"What if he's right? What if I'm not myself?" He looked down at me with searching eyes.

"Castle, I wasn't me when I was recovering from my surgery. And I wasn't me when we had the Sniper case. These things take time. And in the mean time, you just have to take what people have to say with a grain of salt." I told him gently, stroking his cheek. "You're you and you will react differently to things than everyone else, same as I do. But we'll get through this. Ok?"

"Ok." He replied softly, pulling me in closer and wrapping his arms tightly around me as he rested his head on my shoulder, lightly kissing my neck as he did. "So," He whispered softly past the shell of my ear, pulling back to look me in the eyes, "Coffee?"

"I'd rather a morning kiss." I replied with a grin, leaning in and pecking his lips. "But a coffee would be nice too." I smiled, patting him on the chest.


	9. Confrontation

A.N. I am so sorry for not fixing this but I didn't realise that I made this mistake. Thanks for reading.

_Previously in CK_

_"What if he's right? What if I'm not myself?" He looked down at me with searching eyes._

_"Castle, I wasn't me when I was recovering from my surgery. And I wasn't me when we had the Sniper case. These things take time. And in the mean time, you just have to take what people have to say with a grain of salt." I told him gently, stroking his cheek. "You're you and you will react differently to things than everyone else, same as I do. But we'll get through this. Ok?"_

_"Ok." He replied softly, pulling me in closer and wrapping his arms tightly around me as he rested his head on my shoulder, lightly kissing my neck as he did. "So," He whispered softly past the shell of my ear, pulling back to look me in the eyes, "Coffee?"_

_"I'd rather a morning kiss." I replied with a grin, leaning in and pecking his lips. "But a coffee would be nice too." I smiled, patting him on the chest._

I heard the elevator doors ding open, letting out the occupant who proceeded to stomp their way through the precinct. At first I thought nothing of it before I looked over Castle's shoulder and noticed the livid look on the approaching Josh's face. I physically paled for a moment as he caught me leaning against my desk in Castle's arms, giggling as he placed a delicate kiss on my neck. Castle must have felt the tension because he stopped his kiss prematurely and looked at me with concern in his eyes.

"Kate? What's wrong?" He followed my line of sight and the moment his eyes connected with Josh's, I could feel his arms tense around me in fear? Protectiveness? I had no idea.

"I'll tell you _what's wrong!_" He spat out, wrenching me out of the sanctuary of Castle's strong arms. "I come home and I can't find my key, so I can't get into the apartment."

"It's _my_ apartment Josh." I replied weakly, hating that my voice sounded so.

"And _I'm _your boyfriend! It's my apartment too. My stuff's there. You don't get to just kick me out like that! I have a say in this relationship too, and I say its not over." He told me, tightening his grip on my arm, starting to drag me with him. Rick made an advance, trying to get to me, only for Josh to shove him back hard in the chest, shoving him to the ground.

"Who the _Fuck _do you think you are! Stealing my girlfriend!"

"She doesn't want to be with you anymore. It's over Josh." He told him, carefully pushing himself off the ground.

"It's not over till I say its over!" He reinforced, yanking me again towards the elevator. By this stage, most of the precinct had their heads turned towards what was now becoming a hostile situation, still standing on the sidelines, unwilling to enter into the chaos. It was at that moment that I saw Josh cock his head to the side, letting out a booming laugh, throwing his head back before turning his attention back to Castle. I followed his gaze and noticed that his shirt collar was now more prominently open, exposing the marks on his neck. "Are you really that much of a wuss that you tried to kill yourself?" He laughed.

That was the last straw. I turned towards Josh and slapped him across the face. "Don't you _ever _talk to him like that!" I glared at him, venom seeping into my order.

"All he ever wanted from you was to bed you. Just another notch on his playboy belt. Nothing more. Nothing less." I was at a complete loss for words.

"It's not true." I whispered, unable to get past the emotional lump in my throat.

"You _bastard!_" Castle cursed as he rose to his feet and rushed towards us, shoving me safely behind him and punching Josh square in the face. The recoil was something to behold as Josh stumbled backwards, clutching his now bloody nose, glaring back up at Castle, only to see him advancing on him, winding up for another punch. I saw him fist his shirt tightly and heard his fist connect with his face, then his guts, shoving the air out of Josh's lungs. The next thing I knew, Josh was pinned under Castle on the floor as he punched him again in the face.

"How _dare _you think so lowly of Kate. You never deserved her!"

"How did it feel to know that every night she would be coming home to me? That I was the one who she would sleep next to? How did it feel to know that she was _mine _when you hung yourself?" He sneered.

"_You…_" Castle all but yelled.

"Stop!" I interrupted, finally finding my voice amongst all of the chaos rapid firing around me. Castle's head jerked around to look at me, anger in his features and fire in his eyes, fist clenched and ready to strike, white-knuckled from the tension. I'd only seen that expression once before when he punched Lockwood unconscious. The look of my face must have been enough to make him worried because his face softened, his hand unclenched, letting it fall loosely by his side as he slowly got off the still sniggering Josh. I watched as he stepped back a few paces, putting a fair amount of distance between us, the expression on his face unreadable.

Josh got up slowly, wincing slightly at his sore ribs from the landing on the floor, the sadistic smirk still on his face.

"You are so whipped." He shook his head mockingly, clutching his stomach. "Did you think that trying to kill yourself would make the pain go away?" His voice mimicking the tone used on a child. "Are you really that selfish!"

"That's _Enough!_" I heard Esposito interject, storming up to Josh, Ryan close behind, face hard and body rigid. He fisted both his hands in Josh's shirt, lifting him slightly off the floor.

It was only then that I saw a flash of fear in his eyes. "Now get out!" Esposito spat, dropping him on the floor, throwing him back a few paces, making Josh stumble.

I saw Josh's eyes flick around the room and settle onto Castle, his sadistic smile returning.

"Next time you try to kill yourself, make sure you do a better job."

"I said _get out!_" Esposito reinforced, taking a warning step forward. Josh's eyes flicked over to me, set and cold.

"This isn't over, Kate." He warned. That was the last straw for Esposito. He stormed right up to Josh, right into his personal space, threatening him.

"If you even _think _about coming anywhere _near _her, I'll shoot you on the spot." Esposito informed. "Now I won't say this again. GET. OUT!" He punctuated the statement by drawing his gun and poking it into Josh's stomach. He sneered at him but obeyed, backing away slowly towards the elevator. Once he was inside the elevator and the doors slowly closed, everyone seemed to let out a consecutive breath, the tension in the air still tangible, making breathing difficult.

I saw Espo motion a uniform over and whisper something about putting a detail on him. The uniform nodded without question and headed towards the elevator. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as I stood frozen to the spot, staring blindly at the elevator. I didn't even notice when Ryan gently touched my shoulder, trying to pull my attention back to the here an now. It was only until Espo stood in front of me, holding my shoulders and looking right into my eyes, gently saying my name that I managed to focus.

"It's ok, Kate. He won't be bothering you anymore. We've got your back." He spoke gently, trying to calm me down enough. Suddenly I snapped back to planet earth and a single though came to mind.

"Where's Castle?" I whispered. I began frantically looking around the room in search of him until my eyes settled on the break room. I wriggled out of Esposito's grasp and rushed into the deafeningly quiet room.

I scanned the room only for my eyes to settle on him sitting on the couch with his head in hands, staring at his shoes. I slowly made my way over to him, careful not to spook him, and carefully sat down next to him. I slowly slipped my hand over onto his back, rubbing slow, soft circles. I felt him gravitate towards me, slowly letting his body fall the side against mine. I turned myself around, wrapping my arms securely around him, needing to hold him as much as I knew he needed to hold me. I placed a light kiss on his cheek.

"I love you, Castle." I whispered, my lips lightly caressing the shell of his ear. "Remember that. Nothing can change that."

I felt him take a shaky breath against my neck before he replied; "It's not something I can forget", wrapping his arms around my lower back, holding me close.

A.N. I know, Josh is an ass hole, and now he's gone! Poor Castle though. Gotta love Espo's protective brotherly ways.


	10. A New Start

_A.N. Sorry it's taken me so long to write another chapter. I've had a bit of writer's block and I've not had the time to spare to write it. Anyway, here is my long overdue chapter. _

_WARNING: This chapter contains mature content i.e. a sex scene_

_Perviously in CK_

_Josh came into the Precinct after Kate took his key to her apartment and was rude to Castle after he tried to hang himself the night before. A punch up ensues and Espo comes to help throw Josh out. _

After the incident in the bullpen, Gates called us into her office, screaming at us for the events that took place in her precinct.  
>"What the hell happened out there?" She yelled. I kept my hand tightly around his as we both looked at the ground, too embarrassed to say anything. "I will not tolerate that kind of behaviour in my precinct, Mr Castle!"<p>

"But sir," I interjected, "It wasn't his fault. My ex-boyfriend had no right to do what he did. I'm surprised they even let him past security with the state he was in."

"I don't care who started it. I care that it happened and that it happened and the damage inflicted will be coming out of your pay check!"

"I am more than happy to pay for the damage caused to the precinct." Castle told her quietly.

"I am not interested in your money, Mr Castle. And I don't appreciate you flaunting it in front of those who don't have the luxury of stalking a city worker and claiming it to be for 'Research'."

"I don't care how angry you are at me, but don't even _think_ about talking to him that way!" I told Gates, stepping in closer to her, glaring at her menacingly.

"Kate," Castle addressed me, trying to get my attention, gently tugging on my hand, pulling me back to my side. "It's ok. She's right. It's time for me to come to terms with the fact that I've overstayed my welcome."

"Rick…" I protested, turning to face him.

"It's alright, Kate. I need to spend more time on my writing anyway, since I've got all that _research _waiting to be sorted out. And besides, I'll still drop in to see the boys." He told me, smiling gently as his hand reached up to cup my face.

"Finally someone's talking some sense." Gates exclaimed, breaking us out of our little bubble. "It was a pleasure working with you, Mr Castle." She stated, extending her hand for him to shake. Castle slowly extended his hand, his other arm wrapping around Kate as he leant over the desk to take the Captain's hand in his.

"It was a pleasure working at the 12th. Thank you for allowing me to say on for so long." Castle let go of her hand and turned his full attention to Kate. "I'll be alright, Kate. I promise. I'll se you later today." He told me gently, bending down to place a light kiss on my cheek. I was reluctant to let him go as I watched him leave the office, past the bullpen and out the 12th elevator, looking back at me with such sadness in his eyes.

As soon as he was out of sight, I turned back to Gates, all business.

"I'm requesting to be put on compassionate leave as of now."

"You're not going on leave." Gates replied sternly.

"Did you even see him? He is in no place to be alone! That's the whole reason I brought him with me today. So I could keep an eye on him! Otherwise I would be back at home with him."

"I need to have substantial reason for you to be put on this kind of leave." Gates replied.

"He tried to _hang himself!_" I screamed. After taking a few calming breaths, I noticed that a few people were staring at us now, light bulbs going off in their heads as they put two and two together.

For once, Gates was completely silent.

"Y-you'll need to turn in your…" I slammed my badge and gun down on her desk before she could finish and stormed out of her office, slamming the door so hard behind me that it wobbled on its hinges.

I caught sight of the boys who looked at me with concern. Espo nodded to me and gave a small smile.

"Go take care of your boy."

When I finally reached his front door, my hands were clammy and my heart was beating like a jackrabbit. I tentatively raised my fist to knock but the door opened before I had the chance. The second I saw his face, I launched myself at him, wrapping my arms tightly around him, feeling him follow suit. I took a deep breath, breathing him in and placed a light kiss on his neck before I pulled back just enough to see his eyes.

"You didn't think that you could _really _get me to stay away, did you?"

"But, your job…"

"I took leave to spend time with you." He opened his mouth to object but I continued. "And before you ask, it's paid leave until you're better."

"I wasn't going to ask that." He smiled gently before he drew me closer and rested his head on my shoulder.

"Thank you, Kate. Thank you." He whispered, placing a delicate kiss on my neck. I smiled into his embrace and turned to place a kiss on his lips, feeling him return the gesture with increasing enthusiasm. I wrapped my arms around his neck, moving in closer to him, feeling his strong arms flex around me from the sheer force of his embrace around my middle. I felt a grin spread onto my features when I felt his tongue tentatively touch mine. Quick to reassure him, I roughly brushed my tongue against his, feeling his shock through his mouth jumping back a fraction. I tightened my hold around his neck, threading my fingers in his hair and taking fistfuls tightly as I pulled him in closer and kissed him harder. Finally catching up with my pace, he wrapped his arms tightly around my middle and walked backwards until my back hit the door roughly. He then hoisted me up against it, pressing himself firmly against me, effectively pinning me against the door.

It was then that I was able to confirm beyond a shadow of a doubt that Rick was indeed up to my speed when I felt him against my centre. I groaned needily into his mouth felt my hands travel down his back and begin to pull his shirt from his pants, before running my hands back up in between us and began unbuttoning it, shoving it off his shoulders. I tore my mouth away from his with a loud 'smack', both of us breathing heavily.

"Shall we take this somewhere more private?" I asked breathlessly, somehow managing to sound at least a little bit sexy-suggestive. All that came from Rick was a deep growl as carried me up the stairs and into his bedroom.

We haphazardly crashed onto the bed, with him on top of me, never breaking the kiss as we moved further up the bed. I felt reassured by the weight of him pressing me into the mattress, feeling every inch of him fully against me. One hand drifted into his hair again while the other travelled south to his belt buckle, yanking it open, then after unbuttoning his pants pulling down the zipper, I finally managed to wriggle them down his waist until two hands were necessary. Once they were down far enough, I used my feet to pull them the rest of the way down and heard the satisfying sound of them falling to the ground. I glanced down to the space in between us and was confronted by a bulge in his silken boxers. My mind however was taken back to a more pressing matter when Rick's hands ran up my belly to my chest and began torturously slowly unbuttoning my shirt, the back of his hand gently caressing the newly exposed skin as he travelled. When he reached my pant waist, his hand stopped, I assume because he was unsure to continue or not. He pulled his mouth away far enough to give me an almost worried look in his eyes, as if to ask for my permission. With a smile, I nodded, gently cupping his cheek as I did. He slowly took a hold of the hem of my pants and carefully unbuttoned them, slowly pulling the zipper down until it could go no further, all the while never taking his loving eyes off mine. He slowly bunched the hem in his hands and pulled them down over my hips, down my thighs, over my knees and over my ankles until they finally joined his on the floor. He lifted me up carefully and helped remove my shirt from me, throwing it at the wall behind him. He stared back at me with a look of hungry need in his eyes. I smiled back, feeling my anticipation rise in my stomach as this all became more and more real. I found my hands on his boxer waistband and after seeing him glance down at my hands in questioning; I yanked them down his legs until they were around his ankles. His now fully exposed body hung over me in full view and judgement. I could tell by the way his breathing had changed and the way his arms shook around me what he was nervous about my judgment of him while the _event _was still so fresh. I guided his lips to mine and kissed him softly.

"It's ok." I reassured him. "I love you." I brought his lips back to mine, feeling him smile into the kiss this time. I slowly sat both of us up and unclasped my bra, throwing it against the wall with my shirt before dragging him back down on top of me. I then felt his hands wander down to my hips as the kiss became more intense, tongues clashing and duelling ferociously. I knew that he was itching to take off my underpants, but I wanted to stretch this out a bit longer.

My hands trailed slowly down his stomach, feeling his muscles clench under my fingertips.

"Kate…" he ground out breathily, clenching his hands into fists on the bed sheets. I smiled as my hand trailed lazily back up his stomach and between his chest muscles, enjoying the hum he was making in my ear. I felt him press his hips more prominently into mine, making his need for me more evident against my centre. I let out and involuntary groan at the feeling of his impressive size pushing against my already sensitive area.

"Kate, please…" He groaned huskily, hands on my waist as he started to tug on my underwear waistband. I rocked my hips forward teasingly and put my hands on his, helping his slowly pull the last shred of material separating deep connection. Once my underpants were down to my knees, I wriggled them down the rest of the way and flicked them onto the floor. Carefully balancing himself over me on his elbows, he leaned down further and tenderly kissed me on the mouth, gently slipping his tongue into it, all the while he slowly lowered his lower half closer and closer to mine until he was lightly pressing against me.  
>Castle slowly pulled his mouth away from mine and looked down at me with uncertainty in his eyes. I smiled gently back at him and, wrapping my legs around his hips, pulled him into me in one quick movement. He gasped loudly and his head flopped down onto my shoulder, groaning loudly into my ear.<p>

"You're going to be the death of me, Kate." He moaned.

"Let's hope not too soon then. Move already!" I demanded, rocking my hips against his, making us both hiss at the feeling.

"You sure you want this?" He asked again.

"Castle, would I have you on me and in me if I didn't?" I rolled my eyes. He thought about it for a second before he nodded in understanding. "Good, now let's get this show on the road!"

"Your wish is my command." He smiled as he started to rock against her hips, slowly building up speed.


	11. Consequences

**A.N. Sorry it's been so long since my last update of this story my dear readers but I found that I had a slight lack if inspiration until I reread it the other and a plot bunny bounced around my head and demanded to be written (despite my need to study). So anyway, I know it's kinda short but feel free to send me ideas as it which way you think this might be headed. Thanks for being so patient. I will have more updates up soon. **

_"You're going to be the death of me, Kate." He moaned._

_"Let's hope not too soon then. Move already!" I demanded, rocking my hips against his, making us both hiss at the feeling._

_"You sure you want this?" He asked again._

_"Castle, would I have you on me and in me if I didn't?" I rolled my eyes. He thought about it for a second before he nodded in understanding. "Good, now let's get this show on the road!"_

_"Your wish is my command." He smiled as he started to rock against her hips, slowly building up speed._

I stretched out slowly, my muscles screaming in protest from last night's events. I smiled at the memory of his weight on me, his tender kisses and incredible stamina.

I slowly rolled over and cuddled into his side, hearing the soft thudding of his heart under my ear. Letting out a contented sigh, I settled back in next to him only to feel him stir as he sucked in a big breath and stretched out. He turned his head slowly as he peeled open an eyelid.

"Morning." He greeted in a husky, half asleep voice.

"Good morning to you too." I smiled, leaning up and placing a light kiss on his lips. I pulled away and rested my forehead against his.

"So, last night was real, right?" He asked quietly, his cheeks blushing lightly.

_God, he is so cute!_

I chuckled and lifted up the sheets enough for him to look under the covers.

"Proof enough for you?"

"Oh, Kate Beckett, you are somethin' else!" He breathed out.

"Well I hope that 'somethin' else' is a good something else otherwise my little 'somethin' else' is never going to be here again." I teased lightly, leaning in to quickly steal his lips to assure him that my intensions were pure.

"I know you're teasing, Kate." He smiled against my mouth. "Stop worrying about making me upset. After last night, I don't think you…"

"I don't think you what?"

"Well I'd rather hold my tongue in case…"

_In case I mess up again. _

Somehow I knew this would come up and yet I hoped it never would.

"I don't blame you for what I did, Kate. I wasn't in a good place, I had a bit too much to drink and I was also trying to be poetic, and a part of me was hoping that you'd come save me."

My eyes welled up at his words. I tentatively reached up and caressed his cheek.

"Always." I whispered, nuzzling back into his neck. I sighed heavily however as I knew that this moment had to end. "I know this moment is incredible and I don't want to leave but I have to go back to my apartment to get a few things if I am going to stay here and keep an eye on you. You think you'll be ok for an hour or two?" I asked cautiously.

"Tell you what," He started. "I'll get in the shower and tidy up this mess a bit" He gestured to the dishevelled room, "and you send me a text when you're close so I can make you my famous good morning pancakes." I pulled myself away far enough to look into his eyes, searching for any indicators of a lie.

"Are you sure?" I asked. The last thing I wanted was for something to happen to him while I was gone and come back only for it to be too late to save him this time.

Castle gently cupped my face and brought my attention back to him.

"I'm sure. What's the worst that could happen?" He teased.

"Do you want me to list alphabetically or numerically?" I teased back, electing a smile from him. I pulled back the covers and detangled myself from him, getting out of the bed to retrieve my clothes. I collected my shirt, pants, shoes and underwear, but my bra was missing.

"Castle, have you seen my…" I didn't have to finish because he was pointing to the door. I followed his line of sight only to find it hanging off the door handle.

'How the hell did it get there?' I thought to myself. 'Oh yeah.' I chuckled, collecting the offending piece of clothing. I then proceeded to get myself dressed in front of Castle, no issues whatever with it after last night, revelling in the dark look in his eyes as he watched me.

"I'll be back soon." I smiled as I walked back over to him, placing a kiss on his lips. "I just need to get some clothes and such and I'll be back before you know it." I told him, unsure if it was it assure him or me. Placing one last kiss on his lips, I left the loft without another word.

The drive to my apartment was painfully quiet as my thoughts kept on traveling back to Rick alone in his big empty apartment. Pulling up to the curb, I shook off the feeling as I got out and headed up stairs.

When I finally got my key into the lock, I mentally compiled all of the things I needed to grab to stay comfortably at Castle's. Stepping over the threshold, I pulled my keys out of the lock and walked to my bedroom to collect a duffle bag to put various pairs of pants, shirts, underwear, a few pairs of flat shoes as well as an extra pair of pumps. I also figured that packing a tracksuit and hoodie wouldn't be such a bad idea. Content with my clothing choices, I headed to the bathroom to collect my necessary toiletries and made my way back to my bag to pack them. Zipping the bag closed, I slung the strap over my shoulder and made my out of my bedroom. Just as I was about to open the door to leave, something hit my head and as I dropped to the floor, I could only just make out some defining features and an evil smirk.

"I told you it wasn't over, Kate." I heard before everything went black.


	12. Tactical Mobilise

**A.N. I know that many people will not be liking this section of this story because of how much I have changed the seemingly sweet natured doctor, but just think back to 'Rise' and how he acted then. I never really meant to turn him sadistic but it just kinda turned out that way. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter and I will hopefully have some more to come soon. I am currently writing in my down time before dinner, after and before bed just to relax but that could change over the next few weeks cause of my Exams. Anyway, enjoy and please review!**

_When I finally got my key into the lock, I mentally compiled all of the things I needed to grab to stay comfortably at Castle's. Stepping over the threshold, I pulled my keys out of the lock and walked to my bedroom to collect a duffle bag to put various pairs of pants, shirts, underwear, a few pairs of flat shoes as well as an extra pair of pumps. I also figured that packing a tracksuit and hoodie wouldn't be such a bad idea. Content with my clothing choices, I headed to the bathroom to collect my necessary toiletries and made my way back to my bag to pack them. Zipping the bag closed, I slung the strap over my shoulder and made my out of my bedroom. Just as I was about to open the door to leave, something hit my head and as I dropped to the floor, I could only just make out some defining features and an evil smirk._

_"I told you it wasn't over, Kate." I heard before everything went black._

Castle knew there was something wrong the minute Kate didn't make contact with him after she left over three hours ago now. Pacing nervously back and forth in his living room, he contemplated on calling her to check on her.

"I'll just call her. What's the harm in that?" He chuckled nervously, pulling out his phone and with a shaky hand, dialled her number. Castle slowly brought the phone to his ear, listening with bated breath as the phone rung and rung and rung. Just as he was about to hang up he heard the line pick up.

"Oh, thank god! Kate, where are you? It's been almost three hours." Castle asked and was confused when all he heard on the other line was heavy breathing. But that sound wasn't Kate's soft, familiar breath. It was heavy, and distinctly male. "Kate?" He asked nervously.

"I warned you it wasn't over, Mr Castle."

"What have you done with her?" He growled. In the background Castle could make out Kate's familiar voice yelling something that sounded like "backup… Espo… Warehouse… Pier."

"Shut up you." The caller yelled at her and the sickening sound of a slap echoed in the space, making it sound ten times louder over the phone. "I suggest you forget about her. Because if you even think about coming to save her… There'll be nothing left to save." And with that the line went dead.

"No! Kate!" Castle screamed into the phone. "Fuck!" He mumbled, racking a hand through his hair. He numbly rang the precinct and asked to be put through to Esposito.

"Detective Esposito." He answered without a second thought. But when there was no response on the line save shaky breath, Esposito looked over at his partner with a raised eyebrow. "Hello?" He tried again.

"Javi… I… I-I…" Castle tried before he slumped down onto the floor and sobs started to choke his breath.

"Castle?" He asked, completely confused. Kate was there with him last they heard so why was the friendly writer crying? "Castle take a deep breath and tell my what's wrong." Esposito told him calmly.

"He took her." Castle finally got out. "Josh. He kidnaped her and he's going to hurt her. Kate said something about a warehouse and a pier. I couldn't make out most of it but she also said backup. I think he's gonna kill her."

"Shit. Alright, Ryan, get a trace on Beckett's phone and try to get a location on it." Ryan nodded wordlessly, turning to his computer, furiously tapping away at the keys. "I'll call tactical for back up. If this guy's as messed up as he was the other day, we're gonna need all the help we can get." Esposito told Castle. "It's gonna be alright, Castle." He tried to assure the fragile writer. "We're gonna get him." Suddenly a thought occurred to Espo.

Who was gonna look after Castle?

"Castle, do you want me to send someone over there to look… to stay with you?"

"I-I…" He tried to get out.

"Once this is sorted, we'll come by and get you. We'll get Kate back, I promise."

"Thank you Javi." Castle sighed, hanging up the phone.

Esposito and Ryan walked right into Gates' office to inform her of the current situation.

"Sir, we've just received information that Beckett has been kidnapped by her ex-boyfriend." Said Esposito, both him and Ryan standing with their hands behind their backs in attention.

"You mean the man who was in here causing a commotion in my precinct?" Gates looked up from her paperwork.

"Yes, sir. We have started a trace on her phone and are in the process of gathering a Tactical team."

"What makes you think a tactical team is necessary?" Gates questioned, taking off her glasses.

"We have reason to believe that he plans to kill her." Ryan informed her. "Once we have the location we will move out once we pick up Castle."

Gates gave the boys a look before she sighed, picking up her glasses and returning to her paperwork. "Just make sure he doesn't get in the way."

"Yes, sir." Ryan and Esposito said in almost complete synchronisation.

Castle almost jumped out of his skin when he heard the knock on his front door. Rubbing his eyes somewhat dryer, he took a calming breath before trying to put on a fake smile for whoever was at the door. He let out a sigh of relief as it revealed the two detectives, no longer needing to put up the façade of happiness when worry was festering deep in his heart and churning in his stomach.

"Come on, Bro. Let's go get your girl."

Once outside, Esposito motioned for the heavily padded up men who proceeded to form a circle around the hood of the boy's car.

"Alright everyone. This is how it's gonna go down. We go in there silent. We don't want to pull up too close or this guy will spook so we need to park a block or two away. We come around from the side and do sweeps. You have permission to fire if it does not injure the hostage. She's one of us boys, so let's make this bastard pay." The outfitted men all nodded and adjusted their weapons and checked their various pockets that they had everything.

"Alright then, let's move out!" Espo called, getting into the drivers side of the car, Ryan getting into the passenger and Castle climbing into the back seat.

After running a few red lights and breaking a few speed laws, all three boys pulled up to the curb and, popping the boot, began to suit up. Once Esposito and Ryan had their Kevlar vests strapped on, Espo reached in the boot and pulled out another vest, offering it to Castle.

"You're gonna need this bro." Espo then proceeded to reach in and retrieve something else far smaller form the boot. "And this." He said, handing Castle the gun. "Just in case." A small smirk appeared when he added, "Can't be saving your ass all the time." But then it dawned on him the implications of his comment. Javi opened his mouth to apologise but Castle beat him to it.

"I know what you meant Javi. It's ok. Let's just get Kate back."


	13. Unfinished Business

_**A.N.**__ Sorry I haven't updated this story in a while. I have been super busy last year and I now have some free time. To be honest I actually forgot about this story but now I will try and finish it as best I can hopefully before I go back to Uni at the end of the month. I hope you like the new chapter. And just to clarify, I never really hated Josh. I didn't exactly like him but in this instance he just makes the perfect villain._

The terrifying clack of metal on metal reverberating off the walls echoed through the room, startling me into consciousness. I watched as Josh paced back and forth in front of me, tapping two scalpels together behind his back, the whole scene and set up almost like something out of 'The Bone Collector'.

"J-Josh?" I questioned, attempting to stand up only to realise my hands were bound above my head. "What are you doing? Why am I tied up?" Through my fogged brain, the cogs started to turn. "Wait… How did you even get into my apartment? I took back your key."

"That was all too easy." He smirked. "All I had to do was ask the building manager for a spare, since I _lost _mine and wanted to _surprise _you_._"

"So you thought kidnapping me and taking me wherever we are was a good idea?"

"Well how else am I supposed to talk to you alone?" He mocked, crouching in front of me, smiling evilly. "We need privacy for our activities." He smiled menacingly as he ran a scalpel's blunt edge slowly down my cheek to my jaw, my lip quivering in fear.

Not far outside, the team was getting ready to move. Castle was standing at the ready between Esposito in front and Ryan behind him. Espo gave the hand signal to hold position while they had their backs up against the building wall. Espo then turned to Castle and looked at him sternly, "Once we get in there, we have only a matter of seconds to do a sweep. Stay close and don't do anything stupid. Try to be quiet as you can so that he doesn't know we're comin' for him." Castle nodded mutely in response and Esposito gave the order to continue into the warehouse.

The tension in the air was palpable as the sound of their heavy packs bouncing and shaking as they began the primary sweep of the area. Castle followed close behind Esposito, his gun pointed at the floor as he assisted in the sweep.

"Clear." Came a soft voice through Castle's ear piece. "Clear… Clear… Clear"

"The preliminary sweep is clear sir. Team Bravo will continue to check the east side of the building while team Alpha will check the west side." The tactical leader informed them.

"My team and I will continue to check the north side of the building and will radio in if we need you." Esposito informed them over the radio. "Alright," He turned to Ryan and Castle, "Let's go find her."

Following behind Esposito, Castle and Ryan rounded the corner and proceeded to check the following room.

Not far from the boys, I had to endure my clothes slowly being sliced at with Josh's scalpel, leaving shallow and superficial cuts in places and torn clothing in others. By now my cries had been muffled when Josh had angrily stuffed a rag into my mouth and duck taped it mouth closed, holding the flat edge of the scalpel to my cheek to ensure I was obedient.

By now, tears were streaming down my cheeks, my eyes were puffy and red and I had long since given up trying to scream, let alone struggle.

Now closer than ever, Castle and the boys were just in the other room, having just finished the sweep of the room they were in, Esposito made his way to the wall next to the door that lead into the next room. Esposito made a sign to be quite and listened for anything going on in the other room.

Josh slowly ran the flat edge of the blade down my stomach and continued to tease me along my pants hem.

"I bet you like it you nasty girl. I bet this turns you on, doesn't it. Does it excite you?" Josh grinned menacingly. His grin grew wider as he slowly put the scalpel down on the ground next to my thigh. He then put his hands on my hips, slowly ran his hands up to the hem of my pants and to the centre of my pants and teased the button.

"Alright guys, Josh is on the other side of this wall, we need to assume that he is armed and dangerous." Esposito whispered. "We need to assume that he will hurt Kate if we make a move." Castle and Ryan both nodded in agreement. Esposito radioed in, informing the others of where they were and that they had found their man. Esposito then turned to Castle and looked him right in the eye. "Don't worry man, we're gonna get your girl." Castle nodded his head and flicked the safety off his gun. Esposito made his way into the room and beelined right towards Josh. "Put your hands where I can see em!" He yelled.

"And what makes you think I will just surrender." He asked, sneaking his hand down beside my leg again and took a hold of the scalpel. Lifting it up, he put the scalpel over my thigh.

"Put down the guns or I will sever her main artery!" At that, my eyes widened in fear, my gaze turned to Castle, and my eyes started to tear up, slowly beading down my cheeks. Castle raised his gun and pointed it to Josh and my eyes widened as I realised what he intended to do. My eyes flicked from Castle to Josh and back to Castle. I gave him a slight nod, which he returned.

"Drop the blade Josh." Castle told him.

"Put the gun down or I swear I will kill her." Josh threatened, holding the knife closer to my leg, pushing down slightly, making a thin stream of blood run down my leg. Castle looked back at me, fear and uncertainty in his eyes. My eyes slipped closed in a mixture of pain and despair, my tears running freely down my cheeks.

"This is your last chance Josh!" Castle said firm but the gun was starting to shake. Josh smirked menacingly, tightening his grip around the threateningly sharp blade, holding it firmer against her skin, the blood flow running thicker down my leg.

"Say goodbye to your wussy playboy Kate." He whispered in my ear, his warm breath around the shell of my ear, his lips lightly touching the sensitive skin, making me shiver. More tears slipped past my eyes as I closed my eyes, my body trembling from all the overwhelming feelings. I could hear Castle's heavy breathing as he struggled to control himself. When I opened my eyes, I could see Castle gritting his teeth as he watched Josh touching me, trying to steady his hands, shifting his hand grip in attempts to stop the gun from shaking as he seethed with anger. I could feel Josh tensing his arm as he prepared to make this final, lethal cut. Preparing for what felt like the inevitable, I gave Castle one last look, trying to convey all my feeling into one look before I closed my eyes and prepared for the end.


	14. AUTHOR NOTE

Due to the nature of this site being more abusive and negative in nature to the stories I have written such as 'Comfort kiss' and 'IVF Backfire', I have decided to discontinue writing on this website and will continue these two stories on my Wattpad account. I have found this website and app to be an incredibly friendly forum while this website I have received nothing but abuse.

So for those of you who wish to continue reading my work, I suggest you switch to Wattpad.


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